along the way. The “downs” are what I call “bumps in the road” and how we respond to to those bumps will determine our level of success.
There are four basic ways to respond to bumps. We have already talked about “denial” and "anger". The third way to respond is to "avoid". When there is conflict, stress or uncertainty, it is easy to just avoid the situation.
Subconsciously, we are thinking, maybe if I just take a nap or do something else the problem will go away. Usually, we wake up and it is just two hours later and the problem is the same or worse!
Many of us who avoid are people pleasers who do not enjoy conflict. We just want everyone to get along. When we avoid things, we set ourselves up for procrastination and even depression if the avoidance is severe. Underneath most avoidance is a level of unexpressed emotion, usually anger or fear.
Avoidance is a short-term fix that causes long-term damage. When we face the thing we are avoiding, we will create positive energy and most likely get a ton of things done. Two things help avoiders: Break the task into smaller parts and verbalize the worst case scenario. Once we know how bad something could be, it often takes the sting out of it and gives us the courage to take action.