What if the message you communicated to your children was simply, “You cannot Fail. You can only Learn and Grow.” So, when they screw up in school or in relationships or on a job, you refrain from going crazy and simply repeat the mantra: You cannot Fail. You can only Learn and Grow.
I know some of you are thinking, Pat, you have gone soft!!! Kids need to be taught lessons and
Only Growth & Learning here.
learn about the “real world” and “winning and losing” in order to be successful. My response would be that you are precisely right (although not about the going soft part!).
Kids do need to be taught lessons that will help them succeed. I have done nearly 300 hours of life coaching and here is what I can tell you. The difference between successful and less successful people is pretty simple. Successful people know how to deal with failure and rejection. They learn from it, grow and plot their comeback. These successful people hop back on the horse and try again. Their persistence and continuous improvement make them great employees and ideal mates.
Less successful are devastated by failure and rejection. They take it personally and it crushes them. They wallow in self-doubt, self-criticism and self-hatred. They tend to recoil from future challenges and play it safe in life. Often they end up leading a narrow, miserable life of hanging on and trying to avoid mistakes. All of this thinking stems from the fact that these kids got the message early on in life that “mistakes are not OK” or “failure should be avoided at all costs”. If failing = I am a failure, then risks should be completely avoided.
So Dads, what message are you giving to your kids? Are you telling them to go for it and learn and grow or are you telling them to not screw up and play it safe. Your answer will go a long way in shaping your child’s mindset.